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The Call

October 5, 2010

So, I haven’t written anything on the blog for a few days because, I suppose, I was waiting for something interesting to happen. The past couple of days have seen a few phone calls that qualified as interesting, and at least one of them is blogworthy (I’m sure it’s a word).

This morning – just now, in fact – the phone in my office rang and I answered it expecting that it was someone asking for help with their electric bill, which happens a lot. That was not the case this time.  Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Answering

Caller: Is this the preacher?

Me: Yes, it is.

Caller: How do you know when God has called you to preach?

Me: (slight chuckle) Well, I suppose there are a number of ways that you get a sense of calling. Why do you ask?

Caller:  Well, because I’ve been having dreams that God has called me to preach, and I don’t have a church or any money. An evangelist told me once that if you’re not doing what God calls you to do you’re in big trouble.

Me: ::blank stare:: (I must have made some sort of sound in my blank staring)

Caller: What did you say?

Me: I didn’t say anything. How can I help you?

Caller: Well, I’m hoping that you can help me figure this out.

Me: And you think God has called you to preach?

Caller: Yes.

Me: What makes you think God has called you to preach?

Caller: Well, because I have dreams, and in these dreams God is calling me to preach.

Me: What happens in these dreams?

Caller: God tells me to preach.

Me: What specifically happens in the dreams?

Caller: I see myself standing in the pulpit preaching.

Me: Well, I’ve had dreams of being at Walmart in my underwear, but I don’t think God is calling me to go shopping in my skivvies.

Caller: (pause) Is this the preacher?

Me: Yes.

Caller: And you talk like that?

Me: Um, yes.

Caller: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. How can you stand in the pulpit and preach if you talk like that?

Me: Is there something else I can help you with?

Caller: Apparently not.

End of conversation.

It’s going to be a great day. I can just tell.

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6 Comments
  1. Oh, my goodness…I laughed, no I’m still laughing.

  2. Lori Warman permalink

    Oh my goodness, I am laughing way to hard for my children to beleive that their mother is a sane women right now. I can just hear you saying; “Um, yes.” That is so hilarious. Heheeheheheheheheh!

  3. unworthy saint permalink

    And we are glad you don’t go to Walmart in your boxers 🙂

  4. I had a dream once that I jumped off the roof of my house and I could fly. I really had no idea that meant I should actually do it.

    Hmmm. I get a new epiphony every day. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  5. iarehelopilot permalink

    Probably should have used the word unmentionables… which is an oxymoron because merely saying unmentionable is mentioning that which shouldn’t be. In any case, you would have been judged unworthy to be a “man-of-the-cloth” for use of a term deemed an oxymoron because, subconsciously, you would actually be calling the person in question a moron, which, as we all know, is well deserving of the fire and brimstone. My logic is dizzying.

  6. Welcome to my world…that is so funny…

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